Life Doesn't Have A Satnav...

I'm sorry to break it to you all. But life, it appears does not come with a satnav.
Don't bother looking for one, i've tried.
Would be handy though no? To know exactley what to type when it asks "please enter destination" Well yes thank you, I wish to be here by this specific time - avoiding all major road works and diversions.

"Your estimated journey time, taking the quickest route possible will be approximatley 81 years, 5 months and 3 days."

Well thanks LifeNav. At least I know where I'm going now...

Yet, there are things even a LifeNav can't tell you. It didn't count on the closure of all known feelings road, due to horrendous actions of nasty ex partner did it! Damn, detour.
"Please make a u-turn at the next available moment"
How we all wish we could have done at some point? Yes yes LifeNav, i'll make a u-turn and stick to what I and you know best, many thanks.

Only life doesnt work like that. Ooops.
What about the diversion you have to take due to what feels like a 73483023 car pile up in secondary school - yet again no fault of your own. Merely down to the fact that someone bullies you mercilessley? Your best friend has fallen out with you? You've got a detention. Well thats it, it's the end of the journey obviously. Life is over at this point. Not with LifeNav though, it has this knack of finding another route.

After the pile up has cleared, the route is clear once more. There is a long open road in front of you. Until BAM, Bus.
Where the hell did that come from?
Ah, yes. Congestion on the "must try and live life independently and pay bills A75 road."
Not very good this LifeNav thing is it?

Did it count on the flat tyre along the "road to a career?" No, didn't did it. Stupid LifeNav. Yet ANOTHER delay in reaching said destination. If it carries on at this rate, my tea will be cold.

Happily meandering along once more, down a road i think is called "success?" or at least the road to it... And crap... The wheel has fallen off. And there is a child, in fact no a family by the side of the road. And they have a dog... Hitchhikers? Doesn't LifeNav have a built in hitchhiker and clinger-on guide?
But no, they are not Hitchhikers they are my family. Excuse me LifeNav, that is a big delay... "Queing traffic for at least 18 years..."

What about the minor diversions, which quickly clear up - but at the time feel momentous. Illness, Job Change, House move? Christ it stores some information this machine.

Not to mention the speedbumps like not being able to find "the one" in time (life has a speed limit too!), the best friend who is more sucessful, the normal people you work with, the complete and utter panic when you hear the inlaws are coming to stay? TINY little speedbumps, that wouldn't even flash up on the LifeNav Screen.

But remember it, and look back on your life so far. I'm sure that you would perhaps do things differently, but that journey has gone. That leg is finished. LifeNav sends you the route it does for a reason. To test you (and your driving skills...) knowing, that even though it, and other sources are guiding you. You are in the driving seat.

Sit in the traffic jams, go over the speed bumps, take diversions and do U-turns if you want; But just feel proud, so proud of yourself, when LifeNav utters their final words;

"You have reached your destination. We promised to give you the quickest route, but we didn't promise it would be easy."


I guess what I am trying to say here, is that life isn't mapped out for us. Everyones is different any everyone has a story. This is my (hopfully) humerous tale on if life DID have a satnav... How angry we would be if it dared to go off track? But that IS life. It goes off track, it twists and turns and bends - it has more ups and downs than the average (Middlesbrough) football club... But you will get there!!

And when you get there, make sure you speed in sideways. Doughnut into your parking space and pick up a few speeding tickets along the way. After all... What is life if you don't push yourself and your boundaries?

DARE TO DREAM.